I just spent 30 minutes in the shower trying to get all the sand out of my hair. I barely have hair. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
48 hours on a beach without showering will do that, I suppose. This weekend I went to a small town on the Mediterranean with a friend of mine and his family. About a 40 minute drive west of Alexandria, it felt like a universe away from the loud crowded and angry city. Here, sitting in my dorm room, I constantly hear people yelling at each other across the complex from their windows (why, god dammit, why? There's literally 1000 Ahmeds that live here, how is the one you're calling going to know you're talking to him?), whereas in this quaint little community the only audible sound is the movement of the ocean. My friend told me this weekend the water was especially nice, which was apparent. It was a picturesque scape of clear blue met by fine white sand, which apparently sticks to your skin far after you've left. We swam, broke our fast at sunset, prayed at the local mosque, I met some Egyptians from Britain who were pretty neat. It was a good weekend, another needed escape from the stresses of Alex.
A year ago I was getting ready to go to Algeria for a short visit after a summer studying in Morocco. I remember the intense excitement I felt to return home. I was so ready to eat tex-mex and drink whiskey with my boys, to smoke a cigarette with my sister as we watch her dog (there was only one at the time!) run around and poop in her backyard. To drive my dads car on 183 and pass the car dealerships and gas stations that I grew up around. To see the burnt Texan grass, the oak trees that infest my neighborhood. And on August 19th 2011 at about 1:00 in the morning I did arrive home. I looked through sleepy jet-lagged eyes at the places and things I had missed so much. They may not have been as enchanting as I remembered them to be, but I was happy to know that they were there, right where I left them.
Well now I've been in Egypt for 2 months. I feel the same longing for home, but it's not nearly as strong as it was a year ago. To know that only the summer is ending, and a full 10 months towers over me before the program ends and I move to the next stage of my life, is sobering. An 18 day trip to Spain, moving into a new apartment, starting an internship, much Arabic, and what I'm sure will be a boatload of new experiences and challenges all await me. It's hard not to focus too much on the future, on a time when everything is supposed to be easier and happier and more comfortable. Especially when things are difficult in the present. I've been letting time pass me by here in Egypt, and to be honest it often makes me happy when I realize how quickly it's going. To the point where I disappoint myself. For instance, my whole life I've wanted to see a beach like I saw this weekend. Clear blue water, white sands, quiet, and virtually empty. I certainly enjoyed it, but it wasn't until I returned to Alex that I actually realized what had just happened. Instead of really appreciating it while I was there, my mind was full of thoughts about tomorrow, and the next day, and the next month, and the next year. I really need to stop doing that! Or I'll look back on this experience and think to myself, what was I DOING that whole time.
What I did learn from leaving for 2 months last year was that home is there. Things may change, some people my leave and some new condos my be built, but for the most part it's waiting for you to come back and welcomes you when you do. What I'm trying to convince myself of right now is that I won't betray my home in Austin by actually trying to make one here. As temporary as I try to make this experience in my mind, I know I'd be short changing it if I didn't give it all I had. So here's to an attempt at a new Egyptian experience. And here's to all of you back home, I hope you'll be just as I remember you after a little while.
Love
Angry T
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