Comfort Zone

I've always wanted to be one of those people that can just pick up and leave the place they're at, whether it be to go move somewhere else or just go travel for months at a time. You know, like go to Costa Rica for 2 months and come back with a beard and a cane (shout out, Alex)? But every time I go somewhere, maybe South Padre Island for 3 days or Morocco for 2 months, there inevitably comes a point where I just want to go back to Austin and be with my friends and family. I've never left a vacation or an extended trip "sad to come home", and that disappoints me a little bit.

Over the last 21 years I have built this intense comfort zone in that city. Nearly every single person that I care about is there, I know the city and what it has to offer, and almost every memory I have from my life was created there. It's gotten to the point where I have a real anxiety about ever being far away from the place for an extended period of time. It's amazing how much meaning is attached to some geographic space because of the relationships formed there and experiences had. How the streets and sidewalks, shops, buildings, trees, food, language, sounds etc. are so comforting just by virtue of being the forum for human interaction. And now I'm in this place that's so radically different than Austin, in so many kinds of ways, and has a wealth of new perspectives and ideas, and it's taken me weeks to be able to attach some kind personal value to it. Not to mention this is essentially the culture of my father and half of my family (although there ARE clear distinctions between Moroccan and Algerian society).

Now I've got these couple of weeks left here and then 9-12 months back in my comfort zone before I come back to the Middle East for a year. And after that probably grad school, and if all goes to plan it won't be in Austin. It's difficult for me to imagine dealing with all that. This summer has been a kind of preparation for that and it hasn't been bad at all, but I've had a really good support system of friends to keep my comfort level at a sustainable level.

I don't know, I'm going to Costa Rica in January for 10 days. Maybe that'll be enough time to grow a nice beard and some courage.

Here's a picture of the old city in Fez. Amazing.